The world is Kesha’s group text, and she’s letting us know that she’s not happy that was broken up with.
The singer tweeted Wednesday that she “just got dumped for the first time…in my LIFE.”
“Can you believe it?” she continued. “We’re all fucked.”
If it can happen to Kesha, Lord help us all, it can happen to any of us. The singer is 36 years old, which is, if you think about it, a pretty impressive track record for not having been dumped. From the disbelieving vibe of the tweet, it feels safe to assume that Kesha did not, in fact, wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy.
In an interview with Cosmopolitan, also published Wednesday, she expanded on her freshly single status.
“I have no idea why anyone’s asking me,” she said when asked to rate fans’ dating profiles. “I just got dumped for the first time in my life. Can you fucking believe it? I was just making my profile as I was driving here!”
She admitted that she’d never been on Tinder, but that “it seems like it’s where you go to, like, get laid. That’s a get-laid app.” She suspects that if you “weed through” Hinge and Bumble, there might be “some billionaires lurking in the shadows.” Raya? “I don’t fuck with Raya.”
The singer, who embarks on a new tour this weekend, did not share who she’d been dumped by, but did tell us what she’s looking for: Money, honey.
“I mostly want a sugar daddy. I just never had one,” she said. “It sounds really fun. I know it’s like anti-feminist of me, but I want one, so DM me.”