William Shakespeare. John Milton. Lewis Carroll. Gwyneth Paltrow.
The most influential neologist of the 21st century is back with another banger: Paltrow, who originated both her high-end lifestyle brand Goop and the term “conscious uncoupling” to describe the softer side of divorce when she parted ways with husband Chris Martin in 2015, has struck again. In an interview with People, Paltrow, 51, ruminated on her upcoming “new chapter” in terminology that faintly echoes the soft lapping of the Amagansett sea waves against the shore and the whispery whoosh of linen on linen.
When son Moses, currently a senior in high school, goes off to college next year (elder daughter Apple is already there, a sophomore at Vanderbilt), Paltrow and husband Brad Falchuk won’t be empty nesters. Oh no. No, no. They’ll be “free birds.”
“I’m trying to reframe it so that I can at least try to convince myself there’s some kind of a silver lining,” she said. “Empty nest sounds so sad and lonely.”
If anyone can make the new term catch on, honestly, it’s Paltrow. Wing-spreading and all that, you know? That nest, when decorated in tasteful beiges, can be a nice place to be, little chicks, extended metaphor, or not. The term has “masstige”—a new term combining “mass” and “prestige” she learned with the release of her new, more affordable skincare and wellness line, good.clean.goop—appeal, you have to admit.
“I believe that life, especially for women, comes in chapters,” she said. “This is really going to be a new chapter for me.”
In a recent interview with the New York Times, Paltrow reflected on her legacy, including introducing a candle that smells like her vagina to the moneyed masses, ushering in the era of “conscious uncoupling,” and now, maybe even embracing “free birding” with open arms. Er, wings.
“If history has shown me anything, it’s that I’m always looking back, going, ‘Wow, that was an interesting thing to experiment with,” she said.
Fly, Gwyneth. Fly.